// 随机骚话数据（中英文）
// 根据用户浏览器语言随机显示

export const funnyQuotesZh: string[] = [
  '不是真爱，立刻提桶跑路，绝不留恋！',
  '有图有真相，有针会友，基情满满！',
  '羊毛不薅白不薅，薅完吃灰也开心！',
  '买服务器像开盲盒，中了是大盘，炸了是传家宝。',
  '价格低到离谱，配置高到飞起，谁能不心动？',
  '十年后咱们都吃不上饭，但至少都有小姨子域名。',
  '没有服务器的日子，总是缺了点什么。',
  '跑路并不可怕，可怕的是没备份！',
  '以针会友，私下交易，友情永流传！',
  '配置不够豪，线路不够优，谁会多看一眼？',
  '年付99还能忍，年付9.9直接让人失控。',
  '探针一发，延迟低到爆，群里瞬间沸腾！',
  '不怕机器炸，就怕炸之前没备份好数据。',
  '商家跑路最可怕的时刻：昨晚刚续了费。',
  '小鸡再小，也得硬撑一年不掉线！',
  '薅羊毛薅到手软，囤机器囤到面板卡。',
  '看到年付9.9，理智瞬间下线。',
  '有机不玩是暴殄天物，有针不发是藏私。',
  '商家说永不跑路，我就信；说送小姨子，我就冲！',
  '服务器圈风险高，下单需谨慎；优惠一到，谨慎全抛脑后。',
  '别问我为什么囤这么多，问就是空虚寂寞冷。',
  '一键脚本装好，外网世界大门瞬间打开！',
  '机器越大翻得越高，线路越优外网越妙。',
  '跑路商家再多，也挡不住低价的诱惑。',
  '没被跑路坑过的，不算真正老鸟。',
  '私下交易友情升温，以针会友通宵不睡！',
  '商家说限量100台我信，只剩1台我还信！',
  '机器不稳不给钱，稳不起全额退——敢这么写我直接爆仓。',
  '再穷不能穷机器，再苦不能没梯子。',
  '机器不稳我不买，一稳我就续，续完开始后悔。',
  '商家承诺养我一辈子，结果只养在吃灰区。',
  '探针速度一出，全身舒坦；延迟一高，瞬间提桶。',
  '年付9.9的宝贝，再抽风也得宠它一年。',
  '薅到手抖，下单到腿软，醒来面板又多一堆吃灰机。',
  '没被坑过的玩家，就像没谈过恋爱的少年。',
  '商家说最后10台我冲，最后1台我再冲，售罄了我等下一波。',
  '圈里老话：今晚不翻，就辜负了这条优质线路。',
  '配置再牛，带宽再大，也挡不住半夜悄悄拔电源。',
  '以针会友，见好针就激动；私交交易，爽到不行！',
  '低价机器的命运：下单时热血，吃灰时心凉。',
  '夜生活：刷针、撸配置、下单、吃灰循环。',
  '商家跑路后，我不是哭，我在缅怀昨晚充的余额。',
  '线路不够好不买，买了不够好也得用。',
  '老鸟不怕炸，就怕炸前没多开窗口。',
  '看到"不限流量"四个字，自动敬礼。',
  '服务器圈的爱情：来得快，去得也快，留下吃灰和空 wallet。',
  '再穷也要囤机器，再苦也要翻出去。',
  '商家说有后门我信了，结果真是他逃跑的后门。',
  '终极梦想：囤一辈子机器，翻一辈子墙，被优惠套路一辈子。',
  'CN2 GIA线路一出，谁还看得上普通优化？',
  '延迟低到单身狗都羡慕：稳定、快速、持久。',
  '带宽小了别慌，多开几台就是大带宽。',
  '商家说优化线路，我听成了优化利润。',
  '探针结果完美，感觉人生达到了巅峰。',
  '囤机器如囤老婆，多一个不嫌多。',
  '机器炸了无所谓，数据没了才要命。',
  '9.9的诱惑，比咖啡还提神。',
  '刷针刷到天亮，激动到天亮，钱包空到天亮。',
  '商家不跑才奇怪，我不上当才奇怪。',
  '圈里真理：便宜没好货，但我就是要便宜的。',
  '看到大盘鸡口水流，看到跑路鸡眼泪流。',
  '日常：早上巡机，晚上撸配置。',
  '备份才是王道，没备份纯属冒险。',
  '商家说永不跑路，我说永不剁手，结果谁都没守住。',
  '小机器翻墙也丝滑，低配置科学也快乐。',
  '私下交易永不过时，好友永不散场。',
  '低端玩家的梦想：一堆9.9撑起外网天堂。',
  '跑路不可怕，可怕的是跑路前没薅够羊毛。',
  '最浪漫的事：和基友一起刷针到天明。',
  '机器多不压身，钱包空了再充。',
  '商家限量发售，我限量上当。',
  '原价999特价9.9，直接情绪起飞。',
  '服务器圈没有真爱，只有真羊毛。',
  '延迟超过200ms，直接判死刑。',
  '囤到破产，翻到自由。',
  '商家跑路是常态，我冲动是日常。',
  '线路不优不买，买了不优也认。',
  '信仰：相信爱情，更相信9.9。',
  '探针一挂，群友齐聚；机器一稳，钱包一空。',
  '吃灰的机器也是宝贝，至少曾经辉煌。',
  '商家说风控严格，我只听到有爱。',
  '年付机器的悲剧：首月完美，之后间歇抽风。',
  '深夜最爱：一份热腾腾的探针结果。',
  '生存法则：不怕贵，就怕不够便宜。',
  '看到"不跑路承诺"，直接上头冲。',
  '低配高玩，才叫真水平。',
  '商家半夜维护，我半夜失眠祈祷。',
  '机器多到用不过来，余额少到续不起。',
  '口头禅：这个可以有，这个必须有！',
  '跑路了别慌，先检查有没有备份。',
  '9.9的机器，用着用着就超售了。',
  '刷针如刷短视频，一刷就停不下来。',
  '纯爱玩家：爱你，但你跑了我会爱下一台。',
  '稳定靠商家，速度靠配置，快乐靠价格。',
  '终极技巧：跑路前再薅最后一波。',
  '一台炸了没关系，我还有99台吃灰。',
  '商家说亲测稳定，我说亲测上当。',
  '今晚不囤，人生少点乐趣。',
  '墓志铭：一生被9.9温柔包围。',
  '线路不香不买，香了不玩白不玩。',
  '看到CN2线路，腿瞬间软了。',
  '配置拉满，价格拉低，才是完美机器。',
  '延迟低到怀疑运营商偷偷喜欢我。',
  '带宽1G起步，才配叫入门机。',
  '商家说轻量应用，我听成了轻量超售。',
  '探针结果一出，群里集体高潮。',
  'IPV4珍贵，IPV6随便用。',
  '机器多到面板卡，幸福到登录都难。',
  '线路优化越多，越觉得明天要寄。',
  '看到独享IP，直接脑补独享世界。',
  '低价大盘鸡，才是真爱。',
  '商家深夜回票：别急，我在练跑路姿势。',
  '睡眠质量取决于今晚线路稳不稳。',
  '炸机如失恋，难过三天又找下一台。',
  '看到"不限速"四个字，自动起立。',
  '囤机器如收集邮票，总想集齐一套。',
  '配置越高，翻得越爽。',
  '商家说新机房，我翻译成新借口。',
  '真正的玩家，从不删旧机，只开新机。',
  '延迟低到像本地盘，幸福感爆棚。',
  '带宽小了就多开几条隧道。',
  '看到买一年送半年，直接失守。',
  '线路直连才是王道，优化都是浮云。',
  '机器囤得越多，心越踏实。',
  '探针狂人：没针睡不着，好针睡得香。',
  '配置再高，也怕超售。',
  '商家说7×24支持，其实7天后24小时失联。',
  '价格越低，底线越松。',
  '看到中国香港CN2，瞬间原地跪下。',
  '跑路后最痛的：没提前多续几年。',
  '战斗口号：这个线路能冲，这个配置必须冲！',
  '不稳定是常态，太稳定反而可疑。',
  '囤机终极理由：总有一台救命。',
  '商家说优化中，翻译：准备把你优化掉。',
  '月付低于5刀，理智直接关机。',
  '服务器爱情观：一见钟情，付款续费，用着吃灰。',
  '生存铁律：永远别信"永不跑路"。',
  '老鸟看商家，如看前任：爱恨纠缠。',
  '延迟高提桶，速度快续费。',
  '囤那么多机器，唯一出国的只有钱。',
  '减肥秘诀：每天手指疯狂下单。',
  '"不满意退款"一出，直接当真爱冲。',
  '炸机别哭，至少曾经拥有过低延迟。',
  '商家越吹线路，我越信明天要凉。',
  '夜间仪式：开机、测速、关机、安心睡。',
  '便宜没好货，但我偏爱便宜货。',
  '限时秒杀，直接变三秒英雄。',
  '真玩家不怕坑，就怕没坑可跳。',
  '商家说高端配置，我脑补高端圈钱。',
  '囤机如开盲盒，惊喜与惊吓并存。',
  '梦想：一台机器用一辈子，一家商家不跑一辈子。',
  '探针群白天冷清，深夜人满为患。',
  '价格一跌，心情一飞。',
  '"绝对稳定"翻译成"绝对要炸"。',
  '黑五冲一年只用一天，才叫真勇士。',
  '这里没有初心，只有薅心。',
  '看到终身买断，直接情绪巅峰。',
  '日常问候：你家线路今晚香不香？',
  '跑路不可怕，可怕的是还想再续一次。',
  '最高境界：面板全是绿油油的勾。',
  '延迟低到让人怀疑人生：网还能这么快？',
  '独立IP听成了独立自由。',
  '理财观：分散投资在不同商家的低价机。',
  '不怕炸，就怕无声无息地炸。',
  '终身质保一出，直接当传家宝冲。',
  '老鸟不追赔偿，只追下一波优惠。',
  '人生轮回：冲→宠→弃→再冲。',
  '商家说上新，我听成上新坑。',
  '囤到密码都记不清了。',
  '选机三步：先看价，再看线路，最后看配置。',
  '探针一发群里狂欢，开票一发群里安静。',
  '价格越低，智商越低。',
  '实名免备案，直接脱裤准备冲。',
  '老鸟测速比看电影还过瘾。',
  '囤机如养后宫，越囤越空虚。',
  '终极信仰：总有更香的线路在等我。',
  '看到1T流量，直接脑补无限可能。',
  '跑路后最大收获：下次先薅再爱。',
  '没有真爱，只有真线路。',
  '延迟一降，全员狂欢。',
  '睡前最后一件事：瞅一眼机器状态。',
  '风控严格听成了流量控制。',
  '囤机悲哀：用得上的少，吃灰的多。',
  '年度总结：薅了一年，被套了一年。',
  '圈里最高智慧：活得便宜比活得久重要。',
  '配置拉满却超售，才是最大悲剧。',
  '线路再好，也怕机房断电。',
  '带宽共享的快乐：你快我慢我快你慢。',
  '商家说原生IP，我脑补原生态生活。',
  '探针结果分享，瞬间收获无数羡慕。',
  '低延迟的夜晚，才是好夜晚。',
  '看到"免实名"，直接起飞。',
  '机器多到像博物馆，自娱自乐。',
  '线路直连一出，谁还用中转？',
  '商家说性能翻倍，我信到下个月。',
  '囤机是爱好，吃灰是修行。',
  '配置越高，吃灰越心疼。',
  '探针狂欢夜，胜过任何派对。',
  '服务器圈的优雅：从容面对每一次炸机。',
  '看到大流量包，直接眼神放光。',
  '老玩家从不慌，备份在手天下我有。',
  '延迟一好，人生一片光明。',
  '商家承诺越多，我警惕越多。',
  '囤机如喝茶，越囤越有味道。',
  '夜里最温暖的事：机器安静跑着。',
  '价格一亲民，心情一美丽。',
  '服务器如咖啡，因人而异因机而异。',
  '探针完美，胜过一切情话。',
  '跑路是支线，薅毛才是主线。',
  '囤到面板爆满，成就感拉满。',
  '延迟低到像开了外挂。',
  '私下交易的默契，不言而喻。',
  '圈里优雅：从容续费，从容吃灰。',
  '看到送流量，直接无法拒绝。',
  '人生格言：能省则省，能薅绝不放过。',
  '备份多几份，心安多几分。',
  '商家说稳定如山，我说山也会崩。',
  '囤机如存钱，越存越安心。',
  '价格亲民，才叫真福利。',
  '老鸟看商家：表面笑呵呵，内心已提桶。',
  '延迟一降，世界都美好。',
  '商家说技术升级，我说坑位升级。',
  '囤机如养花，总有开花一天。',
  '优惠码成功，快乐翻倍。',
  '线路香到让人上瘾。',
  '配置虽低，玩得开心就好。',
  '商家说即将关站，我说即将薅完。',
  '低配玩出花，才叫真大神。',
  '带宽越大，梦想越大。',
  '老玩家从不生气，只会默默再开一台。',
  '延迟低到让人想谈恋爱。',
  '商家吹得越狠，我信得越少。',
  '吃灰也是种享受，至少曾经拥有。',
  '探针结果差，就当锻炼心态。',
  '商家深夜维护，我深夜守机。',
  '囤机到极致，连梦里都在测速。',
  '线路优化再多，也比不过直连。',
  '私交优惠，友情加分。',
  '炸机是惊喜，吃灰是日常。',
  '看到买断终身，直接泪目。',
  '最朴实梦想：一台永不抽风的机器。',
  '带宽共享的哲学：你我一起慢。',
  '商家说新活动，我说新羊毛。',
  '囤机如读书，越囤越有内涵。',
  '探针分享，瞬间成群宠。',
  '配置再高，也要看线路配合。',
  '价格一低，道德一松。',
  '真正的自由：一台好机器走天下。',
  '延迟高了就当环游世界。',
  '商家说绝不超售，我说绝不错过。',
  '囤机是艺术，吃灰是境界。',
  '看到闪购，手指先于大脑。',
  '线路不稳如爱情，飘忽不定。',
  '老鸟心得：备份大于一切。',
  '配置拉满却延迟高，才是最大讽刺。',
  '探针结果好，感觉赢了人生。',
  '商家说母公司支持，我说母公司先跑。',
  '囤到100台，感觉自己是云老板。',
  '延迟低到像本地，爽到飞起。',
  '私下交易的快乐，只有圈里人懂。',
  '服务器不怕吃灰，就怕从来没跑满速。',
  '看到免费试用，直接当真爱。',
  '夜宵首选：新鲜探针结果。',
  '商家说永不限速，我信你到明天。',
  '真正的浪漫：和好友一起熬夜刷针。',
  '看到"不删机"承诺，感动到落泪。',
  '玩家信条：能薅绝不手软。',
  '延迟高了就当欣赏沿途风景。',
  '商家半夜上线，我半夜精神百倍。',
  '囤机如收集卡片，总想集满。',
  '探针一挂，瞬间成英雄。',
  '低价机器的骄傲：小身材大能量。',
  '商家说优化性能，我听成优化利润。',
  '真正的玩家，看优惠比看新闻还快。',
  '一机在手，天下我有。',
  '看到限量抢购，直接进入战斗状态。',
  '最怕的不是跑路，是错过好线路。',
  '延迟低到上瘾。',
  '商家说升级机房，我说升级借口。',
  '囤机如品茶，越品越香。',
  '备份在手，心不慌。',
  '服务器如老友，偶尔抽风也包容。',
  '探针完美如诗，延迟高如散文。',
  '商家跑路是剧情，优惠才是主角。',
  '囤满面板，成就 unlocked。',
  '线路直连的快感，无可替代。',
  '私下交易，默契满分。',
  '圈里最高境界：薅到商家怀疑人生。',
  '看到大带宽，梦想起飞。',
  '老玩家从容：炸就炸，再开一台。',
  '延迟一低，整个人都灵了。',
  '商家承诺如浮云，备份才是真爱。',
  '囤机是信仰，吃灰是修行。',
  '探针分享夜，最热闹的夜晚。',
  '服务器如宠物，炸了再领养。',
  '年付优惠一出，预算瞬间超支。',
  '真正的智慧：优惠来了绝不犹豫。',
  '多开备份，才是正道。',
  '服务器圈的终极哲学：线路香，人生才香！',
]

export const funnyQuotesEn: string[] = [
  'You might never use it, but you absolutely must have it—the eternal motto of hoarders!',
  "If it's not true love, grab your bucket and run—no lingering!",
  "Pics or it didn't happen; speed tests bring friends together!",
  "If you don't pluck the wool, you're missing out—even if it just gathers dust later.",
  'Buying a server is like opening a blind box: jackpot means premium specs, dud means family heirloom.',
  "Price absurdly low, specs ridiculously high—who wouldn't be tempted?",
  "Ten years from now we'll both be broke, but at least we'll have those \"sister\" domains.",
  "Life without a server always feels like something's missing.",
  "Hosts running away isn't scary—what's scary is having no backups!",
  'Speed tests unite friends, private deals keep the friendship forever!',
  'Specs not impressive enough, routes not premium enough—no one gives it a second glance.',
  '$99 a year is tolerable; $9.99 a year makes you completely lose control.',
  'Drop a speed test—ping so low the group chat explodes!',
  'Not afraid of the machine crashing, just afraid of no backups before it does.',
  'The worst time for a host to run: right after you renewed last night.',
  'Even the tiniest server has to stay online for a full year!',
  'Pluck wool till your hands cramp, hoard servers till the panel lags.',
  'Spot a $9.99 yearly deal—rationality instantly logs off.',
  "Owning a server you don't use is wasteful; not sharing speed tests is selfish.",
  "Host says \"never shutting down\"—I believe it. Says \"free sister domains\"—I'm sold!",
  'High risk in the server game, order carefully—until a deal shows up and caution goes out the window.',
  "Don't ask why I hoard so many—just lonely, bored, and cold.",
  'One-click script installed—gateway to the open internet swings wide!',
  'Bigger machine, higher you climb; better routes, sweeter the outside world.',
  'No number of runaway hosts can stop the allure of low prices.',
  "If you've never been burned by a host running, you're not a true veteran.",
  'Private deals warm the friendship; speed tests keep you up all night!',
  'Host says "only 100 left"—I believe it. "Last one"—still believe it!',
  "Unstable? No payment. Can't stay up? Full refund—if they dared advertise that, I'd go all in.",
  "Can't be poor in servers, can't live without a ladder.",
  'Unstable? I pass. Stable? I renew—then start regretting.',
  'Host promised to keep me forever—turns out forever meant the dusty list.',
  'Great speed test = instant bliss; high ping = instant bucket grab.',
  '$9.99 yearly baby—even if it throws tantrums, you pamper it for a year.',
  'Pluck till hands shake, order till legs go weak—wake up to another pile of dusty machines.',
  "Never been scammed? You're like a kid who's never been in love.",
  '"Last 10 left"—I rush. "Final one"—I rush again. Sold out—I wait for the next wave.',
  "Old community saying: if you don't climb tonight, you've wasted a great route.",
  'No matter how beastly the specs or wide the bandwidth, nothing stops a midnight power pull.',
  'Speed tests bring friends—good result gets everyone excited; private deal feels amazing!',
  'Cheap server fate: burning passion at purchase, cold regret in dust.',
  'Night routine: test speeds, drool over specs, order, then dust cycle.',
  "After a host runs, I'm not crying—I'm mourning last night's top-up.",
  "Route not great? Don't buy. Bought and it's meh? Deal with it.",
  "Veterans don't fear crashes—just fear not opening enough tabs before one.",
  'Seeing "unlimited traffic"—automatic salute.',
  'Server love: comes fierce, leaves fast, leaves dust and an empty wallet.',
  'Poor or not, hoard servers; tough or not, climb out.',
  "Host said there's a back door—I believed it. Turns out it was their escape route.",
  'Ultimate dream: hoard servers forever, climb walls forever, get lured by deals forever.',
  "Once you've tried CN2 GIA, who looks at regular optimized routes?",
  'Ping so low even single folks are jealous: stable, fast, lasts long.',
  'Small bandwidth? No problem—just run a few more tunnels.',
  'Host says "optimizing routes"—I hear "optimizing profits."',
  "Perfect speed test feels like reaching life's peak.",
  'Hoard servers like wives—one more is never too many.',
  "Machine down? Fine. Data gone? That's the killer.",
  '$9.99 temptation—more energizing than coffee.',
  'Test speeds till dawn, excitement till dawn, empty wallet till dawn.',
  "Host not running would be weird; me not falling for it would be weirder.",
  'Community truth: nothing good is cheap—but I only want cheap.',
  'Big stable server = drooling; runaway server = tears.',
  'Daily life: morning patrol, evening spec browsing.',
  'Backups are king—no backups is pure gambling.',
  'Host swore never to run—I swore never to buy again. Neither kept the promise.',
  'Tiny server, smooth climbing; low specs, still fun science.',
  'Private deals never go out of style, friends never part.',
  'Low-end dream: a pile of $9.99 machines powering internet heaven.',
  "Runaway not scary—scary is not plucking enough wool before it happens.",
  'Most romantic thing: staying up till dawn testing speeds with bros.',
  "Too many servers won't crush you—just top up when the wallet's dry.",
  'Host does limited drops—I do limited gullibility.',
  'Original $999, flash $9.99—instant emotional takeoff.',
  'No true love in servers—just true wool.',
  'Ping over 200ms? Death sentence.',
  'Hoard till broke, climb till free.',
  'Hosts running is routine, my impulse buys are daily.',
  "Route not great? Pass. Bought and meh? Accept it.",
  'Faith: believe in love, believe harder in $9.99.',
  'Drop a test—friends swarm; server stable—wallet empty.',
  'Dusty servers are still treasures—at least they once shone.',
  'Host mentions strict controls—I just hear "love."',
  'Yearly server tragedy: perfect first month, random tantrums after.',
  'Favorite midnight snack: fresh hot speed test results.',
  'Survival rule: not afraid of expensive, afraid of not cheap enough.',
  'See "no shutdown promise"—rush in headfirst.',
  'Low specs, high skill—that\'s real talent.',
  'Host does midnight maintenance—I do midnight insomnia prayers.',
  "Servers so many you can't use them all, balance too low to renew.",
  'Catchphrase: this one works, this one must-have!',
  'Runaway? Stay calm—first check backups.',
  '$9.99 server eventually gets oversold.',
  "Testing speeds like scrolling shorts—can't stop.",
  "Pure-love player: I'll love you, but if you run I'll love the next one.",
  'Stability from host, speed from specs, joy from price.',
  'Ultimate skill: one last wool pluck before the run.',
  "One down? No big deal—99 more gathering dust.",
  'Host says "personally tested stable"—I hear "personally tested gullible."',
  "Not hoarding tonight = missing out on life's fun.",
  'Epitaph: Gently surrounded by countless $9.99 deals forever.',
  "Route not great? Don't buy. Great but unused? Still worth it.",
  'Spot CN2 route—knees instantly weak.',
  "Maxed specs, rock-bottom price—that's perfection.",
  'Ping so low you suspect the ISP secretly loves you.',
  '1G bandwidth minimum for a proper entry-level machine.',
  'Host says "lightweight application"—I hear "lightweight overselling."',
  'Speed test drops—group chat collective peak.',
  'IPv4 is precious, IPv6 is free real estate.',
  'So many servers the panel lags—blissfully hard to log in.',
  "More \"optimized\" routes promised, more convinced it's doomed tomorrow.",
  'Spot dedicated IP—imagine owning the world.',
  'Cheap big server = true love.',
  'Host replies ticket at midnight: hold on, practicing escape moves.',
  "Sleep quality depends on tonight's route stability.",
  'Crash like a breakup—sad for three days, then find the next one.',
  'Seeing "no throttling"—automatic standing ovation.',
  "Hoarding servers like collecting stamps—always aiming for a full set.",
  'Higher specs, smoother climbing.',
  'Host says new datacenter—I translate to new excuse.',
  'Real players never delete old machines—just open new ones.',
  'Ping so low it feels local—pure happiness overload.',
  'Small bandwidth? Just run a few extra tunnels.',
  'Buy one year get six months free—defenses completely down.',
  'Direct routes are king—optimized are just clouds.',
  'More servers hoarded, more peace of mind.',
  "Speed test addict: no test = can't sleep, great test = sweet dreams.",
  'No matter how high the specs, overselling ruins everything.',
  '"7×24 support" really means gone after 7 days for 24 hours.',
  'Lower price, looser standards.',
  'Spot Hong Kong CN2—instant kneel.',
  'Worst pain after a run: not renewing for a few extra years first.',
  'Battle cry: this route is rush-worthy, these specs are must-rush!',
  'Unstable is normal—too stable feels suspicious.',
  'Ultimate hoarding excuse: one will save the day someday.',
  'Host says "optimizing"—translation: preparing to optimize you out.',
  'Monthly under $5—rationality shuts down.',
  'Server romance: love at first sight, instant payment, eventual dust.',
  'Iron survival rule: never believe "guaranteed no shutdowns."',
  'Veterans view hosts like exes: tangled love and hate.',
  'High ping = bucket; fast speed = renew.',
  'Hoarded so many—the only thing that went abroad was my money.',
  'Diet secret: daily finger frenzy ordering.',
  '"Not satisfied? Refund"—taken as gospel and rushed.',
  'Crash? Don\'t cry—at least you once had low ping.',
  "Harder the host hypes routes, more certain tomorrow's doom.",
  'Night ritual: boot, test, shut down, sleep peacefully.',
  'Cheap has no quality—but I only want cheap.',
  'Limited flash sale—turn into a three-second hero.',
  "Real players don't fear pits—just fear no pits to jump into.",
  'Host brags high-end specs—I picture high-end cash grab.',
  'Hoarding like blind boxes—thrills and scares guaranteed.',
  'Dream: one machine for life, one host that never runs.',
  'Speed test groups dead by day, packed at night.',
  'Price drops—mood soars.',
  '"Absolutely stable" = "absolutely crashing soon."',
  'Black Friday rush on a one-day-use server = true warrior.',
  'No original mission here—just pure plucking spirit.',
  'Spot lifetime buyout—emotional climax.',
  "Daily greeting: how's your route smelling tonight?",
  'Runaway not scary—scary is wanting to renew again.',
  'Peak realm: panel full of green checks.',
  'Ping so low it triggers existential questions: internet can be this fast?',
  'Dedicated IP sounds like dedicated freedom.',
  "Investing: diversify across different hosts' cheap machines.",
  'Not afraid of crashes—afraid of silent ones.',
  'Lifetime warranty—treat as heirloom and rush.',
  "Veterans don't chase refunds—chase next deal.",
  'Life cycle: rush → pamper → abandon → rush again.',
  'Host says new stock—I hear new pit.',
  'Hoarded till passwords are a blur.',
  'Machine picking order: price first, route second, specs last.',
  'Test drops = group frenzy; ticket opens = group silence.',
  'Lower price, lower IQ.',
  'No real-name required—pants down, ready to charge.',
  'Veterans find speed testing more thrilling than movies.',
  'Hoarding like building a harem—the more, the emptier inside.',
  "Ultimate faith: there's always a better route waiting.",
  'Spot 1TB traffic—mind fills with infinite possibilities.',
  'Biggest lesson after a run: pluck first, love later.',
  'No true love—just true routes.',
  'Ping drops—collective ecstasy.',
  'Last thing before bed: glance at server status.',
  'Strict controls sounds like traffic control.',
  'Hoarding tragedy: few actually used, many dusty.',
  'Yearly summary: plucked all year, got lured all year.',
  'Community wisdom: living cheap beats living long.',
  'Max specs but oversold—that\'s the real tragedy.',
  'Best route still fears datacenter blackout.',
  'Shared bandwidth joy: you fast I slow, I fast you slow.',
  'Host says native IP—I picture wilderness living.',
  'Sharing speed tests = instant flood of envy.',
  'Low-ping nights are the best nights.',
  'Spot "no ID required"—instant takeoff.',
  'Servers so many it\'s a personal museum.',
  'Direct route drops—who still uses relays?',
  'Host says double performance—I believe till next month.',
  'Hoarding is hobby, dusting is discipline.',
  'Higher specs, more painful the dust.',
  'Speed test party nights beat any club.',
  'Server community grace: calmly facing every crash.',
  'Spot huge traffic pack—eyes light up.',
  "Veterans never panic—backups mean the world is yours.",
  'Good ping = bright life.',
  'More host promises, more my caution.',
  'Hoarding like tea tasting—the more, the richer the flavor.',
  'Warmest night feeling: server quietly running.',
  'Friendly price = beautiful mood.',
  'Servers like coffee—different strokes for different folks.',
  'Perfect speed test beats any love confession.',
  'Runaway is side plot—deals are the main story.',
  'Panel full = achievement unlocked.',
  'Ping so low it feels like cheating.',
  'Private deal chemistry—words unnecessary.',
  'Community grace: calmly renewing, calmly dusting.',
  'Spot free traffic—impossible to resist.',
  'Life motto: save where you can, pluck without mercy.',
  'Extra backups = extra peace.',
  'Host says stable as mountain—I say mountains crumble too.',
  'Hoarding like savings—more secure the more you have.',
  'Friendly price = real welfare.',
  'Veterans smile outside, bucket ready inside.',
  'Ping drop = beautiful world.',
  'Host says tech upgrade—I say pit upgrade.',
  "Hoarding like planting flowers—one day they'll bloom.",
  'Coupon success = double happiness.',
  'Great route = addictive.',
  "Low specs but fun—that's enough.",
  'Host says closing soon—I say finishing the pluck.',
  'Low specs mastered = true god.',
  'Bigger bandwidth, bigger dreams.',
  'Veterans never rage—just quietly open another.',
  'Low ping makes you want to fall in love.',
  'Harder the hype, less I believe.',
  "Dusting is also enjoyment—at least you once owned it.",
  'Bad test result = mindset training.',
  'Host midnight maintenance—I midnight vigil.',
  'Hoarding extreme: ordering in dreams.',
  'No many optimizations beat direct.',
  'Private deal perks = friendship bonus.',
  'Crash = surprise, dust = routine.',
  'Spot lifetime ownership—tears of joy.',
  'Simplest dream: one machine that never tantrums.',
  'Shared bandwidth philosophy: we slow together.',
  'Host says new event—I say new wool.',
  'Hoarding like reading—the more, the deeper.',
  'Test sharing = instant group favorite.',
  'High specs still need good routes to shine.',
  'Low price = loose morals.',
  'True freedom: one great machine rules the world.',
  'High ping = world tour.',
  "Host says no overselling—I say no missing it.",
  'Hoarding is art, dusting is enlightenment.',
  'Flash sale—fingers faster than brain.',
  'Unstable route like love—fickle.',
  'Veteran wisdom: backups above all.',
  'Max specs high ping = ultimate irony.',
  'Great test result = winning at life.',
  'Host says parent company backing—I say parent runs first.',
  'Hoard 100 = feel like cloud tycoon.',
  'Low ping like local—pure bliss.',
  'Private deal joy—only insiders get it.',
  "Server not afraid of dust—afraid of never hitting full speed.",
  'Spot free trial—treat as true love.',
  'Best midnight snack: fresh test results.',
  'Host says no throttling forever—I believe till tomorrow.',
  'True romance: all-night speed testing with friends.',
  '"No deletion" promise—moved to tears.',
  'Player creed: never go soft on plucking.',
  'High ping = enjoy the scenery.',
  "Host online at midnight—I'm wide awake.",
  "Hoarding like collecting cards—aim for full set.",
  'Drop a test = instant hero.',
  'Cheap machine pride: small body, big energy.',
  'Host says optimizing performance—I hear optimizing profit.',
  'Real players spot deals faster than news.',
  'One machine in hand, the world is yours.',
  'Limited grab—enter battle mode.',
  'Worst fear: not runaway, but missing great route.',
  'Low ping = addiction.',
  'Host says datacenter upgrade—I say excuse upgrade.',
  'Hoarding like fine tea—the longer, the better.',
  'Backups in hand = no panic.',
  'Server like old friend—tolerate the occasional mood swing.',
  'Perfect test = poetry, high ping = prose.',
  'Runaway is subplot, deals are star.',
  'Full panel = achievement maxed.',
  'Direct route pleasure—irreplaceable.',
  'Private deal sync—perfect score.',
  'Peak realm: pluck till host questions life.',
  'Spot huge bandwidth—dreams soar.',
  'Veteran calm: crash happens, just open another.',
  'Low ping = soul awakened.',
  'Host promises like clouds—backups are true love.',
  'Hoarding is faith, dusting is practice.',
  'Test sharing night = liveliest night.',
  'Server like pet—adopt another when one goes.',
  'Yearly deal drops—budget instantly blown.',
  'True wisdom: never hesitate on deals.',
  'Multiple backups = proper way.',
  'Ultimate server community philosophy: great routes make life great!',
]

/**
 * 根据语言获取随机骚话
 * @param locale 当前语言 ('zh-CN' | 'en')
 * @returns 随机骚话字符串
 */
export function getRandomFunnyQuote(locale: string): string {
  const quotes = locale.startsWith('zh') ? funnyQuotesZh : funnyQuotesEn
  const filteredQuotes = quotes.filter(quote => !/backup|备份/i.test(quote))
  
  // 安全检查：确保数组存在且有内容
  if (!Array.isArray(filteredQuotes) || filteredQuotes.length === 0) {
    return locale.startsWith('zh') ? '这是您的资源使用概览' : 'This is your resource usage overview'
  }
  
  const randomIndex = Math.floor(Math.random() * filteredQuotes.length)
  return filteredQuotes[randomIndex]
}
